The gate

Gone. She is gone. I had to take her to the airport yesterday and now she is… well... gone. 

It is not like it was easier for us to say goodbye this time; no; definitely not. How did I feel? Have you ever felt like your soul had been used as wrapping paper for your heart, so that the poor thing could serve as a gift? Nothing amazing, though; just a piece of crap involved in stinkier crap. The crappiest gift ever. Crap… That’s what both my soul and my heart are made of when I don’t have her by my side. 

There we were standing right in front of the gate; she was holding my hand; ˜I can’t do this. I just can’t.˜  - she said with a tear rolling down her face - ˜Then don’t. Stay here with me˜ - my sobbing self replied - ˜I have to. You know I have to.˜ ˜Then go. Just… go.˜ and then she made me promise her I’d walk away and not look back, because if I did, she wouldn’t cross the gate. 

’Just go’ … How often do you pray? I don’t. In fact, I never do. Well, I used to, indeed, but then I stopped. This whole God thing just never made much sense to me. I do not like hypocrisy, though, and that’s why I feel compelled to state that, well, I did pray yesterday… I hugged her, right there in front of the stupid gate and I… I prayed. Why? - you may ask - What’s the reason behind that? I don’t know. I am indeed not certain. Perhaps, a desperate move, as if it was my only and last possible one… What I do know is that in that moment, that seemed so reasonable. I didn't say anything fancy at all. You know, I never pray. I said: "Hey, I know we don't know each other very well anymore, but… Just take care of her, will you? She is… important." 

I would love to say that I walked away and didn’t look back at all, but you see, that would not be true. I hid myself behind this pillar thing and watched her going through the gate. I am sure she didn’t spot me in the crowd. I felt every single step she took away from me as if she were just leaving me here, for good.

I hated being there. I just hated it. I wonder about how the other people were feeling. I am sure I wasn't the only one saying goodbye to the love of my life right there and then. It was sad. It hurts. I cannot help but feel sorry for the stupid gate, though. Poor thing stands there and has to witness each one of the farewells.